Small Victories

The past couple of weeks have been difficult. This post-traumatic thing I got going on weighs me down. Some days, I sink in to the sadness because I just can’t escape the fear and hopelessness. Other days, I stare at things around me blankly, disassociated from feelings and experiencing nothing.

It sucks.

Mercifully there are little events that pull me from my macabre reverie.

Trooper came through for me once again. On Monday he emailed me to let me know he followed up with the state police in my stalker’s town. The sergeant there thought my case significant enough for further action that he forwarded it to the prosecutor’s office. I should hear something next week. The gesture of keeping me informed felt warm. I held my hands to the warmth as I used to hold them to the coal-burning stove in my childhood home and enjoyed the comfort of having someone on my side.

Yesterday my copyright certificate arrived in the mail. Reading the certificate flushed me with empowerment. I now have legal ownership of those images, which gave me a renewed sense of ownership of self. I feel less helpless. No one can do anything with those images without my permission. I am, once again, the gatekeeper of my body. I put my foot down and outsmarted him. My intelligence and strength saved me.

Small victories. Delicious strength. Today I’ll line my eyes with kohl black, warrior style, and smile at everyone I see.

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1 Comment

  1. J!

     /  October 27, 2011

    Hooray to you for your strength, beauty, ferociousness, human moments, and ulimate triumphs via small steps!!! 🙂 You are DEFINITELY one of my FAVORITE-EST people!!! 🙂

    LOVE YOU!!! 🙂

    J!

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    Reply

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